He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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