my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
