i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
