I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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