We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
