Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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