My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
