Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
