once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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