That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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