Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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