Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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