My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
