Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
