so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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