I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I understand Curling. That high.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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