Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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