there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
