My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
