Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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