your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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