So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?