Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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