Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i came on her dog
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
