and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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