it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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