Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
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probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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