Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need a beard to bite.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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