I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
