the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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