I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
