Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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