Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize