I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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