I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
