Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
