my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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