i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
