well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
