Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
