no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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