I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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