Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
