Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize