we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wear drunk well.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize