Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
