And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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my poor anus
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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