did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
