if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
