I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
