I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
