Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm bleeding and have questions
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
