Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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