I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
