I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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