Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
