he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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