Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize