just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize