I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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